


Protector

by SilverRhayn



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Crying, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Pain, Panic Attacks, Platonic Relationships, Scars, Self-Esteem Issues, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22984093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverRhayn/pseuds/SilverRhayn
Summary: Ever since they were young, Virgil tended to take on a much heavier burden of Thomas's bad thoughts in the form of painful scars.He thinks he deserves them for not being able to protect his host from the cruel words of the world and hides it from the othersThat is, until he can't.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 5
Kudos: 224





	Protector

Virgil sighed as he brought the concealer down from his face to his neck, a small smile gracing his features as familiar white lines slowly disappeared. As much as he hated the makeup, it did wonders on hiding his flawed skin. He hated those flaws, the scars of marked his body, with a burning passion. Each one showed a time where he had failed to protect Thomas one way or another. Yes, Virgil realized he wouldn’t be able to protect Thomas from the cruel reality of the world, but he also realized so much could’ve been avoided.

Growing up hadn’t been as bad as it had when Thomas came out or started Vine and YouTube. He had exposed himself to the world, the internet, knowing full well what was out there. And, well, Virgil hadn’t been strong enough to do anything about it. The comments that hurt Thomas, spiked his anxiety, physically marked Virgil in pain.

So, he got used to the random bouts of pain that would pop up on a weekly bases - most only felt like a cat scratch after all. He got used to looking in the mirroring while changing or getting into the shower and seeing white, jagged lines covering his pale skin. It had become his normal. There were times, though, times that Virgil would be brought to the ground, whimpering in pain. A new, huge, jagged scar making it’s way onto Virgil’s body. Those angry scars kept to his torso and back, some inching up past the neckline of his shirt. Virgil found out that those were the much ruder comments Thomas had to deal with. The ones that left Patton in a depressive state while Thomas was just down on himself.

At the time, he wasn’t too worried about anyone seeing them either. Having spent most of his time locked in his room where nobody bothered him meant Virgil could freely go about without someone seeing them. Patton, being the only one who cared enough to check up on Virgil, was the only one Virgil had ever had to worry about seeing his scars.

But now, now was much harder. He had been accepted by the others, had started to trust them more. He left his room more often and would hang out with them. This meant that there was a much higher chance of them finding out about all the scars. All the time Virgil had failed his job.

Tonight was one of those nights that Virgil had let Patton talk him into. Nothing big or unusual, just a movie night with the other two. So, Virgil finished with his concealer and did a once over, making sure nothing was visible before changing into a comfy pair of black pajama pants and heading downstairs to the living room. He saw Roman picking out the movies as he descended the stairs while Logan set up the couch with pillows and blankets and Pattons humming could be heard from the kitchen.

“Ah, finally! Our Dark Prince has decided to finally grace us with his presence.”

Virgil rolled his eyes and smirked, “Hey, looking as dark and edgy as this doesn’t coming naturally, Princey.”

“Mhmm, edgy. Cause fuzzy black pants covered in purple kittens are _edgy_.” Roman retorted, looking Virgil up and down.

Virgil, being the dark persona he was, stuck his tounge out at him before continuing to the couch. (The pj pants were from Patton, ok? Quite literally the softest and fluffiest pair Virgil owned and he absolutely loved them)

In all honesty, though, Virgil had been on the floor, near tears, as a new scar tore itself into his skin. It wasn’t as bad as some of the others, but it still burned like a bitch and had left him on the floor gripping his leg for a bit. Virgil had taken some time to recuperate, hoping if he waited long enough the pain wouldn’t effect him too much as he used his leg. Unfortunately it had left him limping slightly, and he prayed that no one would notice it.

“Salutations, Virgil.” Logan stated, not looking up from the pillows he was rearranging.

“Sup, teach.” Virgil surveyed his progress as he leaned on the wall. Fluffy pillows filled the corners of the couch and a small pile of blankets sat at each end and one on the coffee table. Easy access to them if you needed one. (Logan would never admit this, but he was always very particular when it came to getting stuff like this set up), “You got this covered then?”

“Obviously. But you might want to see how Patton is progressing. He could always use some help with snacks.”

With a nod, Virgil pushed off the wall and made his was to where the dad figure was gathering together snacks. While Patton wasn’t the best at cooking, he did have a great choice of movie snacks.

“Hey Patton, Logan said you could use some help…”

Patton whirled around from the counter, a bright smile on his face as he looked at Virgil, “Hey kiddo! Nice to see you made it. And yeah, I’ve got most everything taken care if in here, but if you could help take some things out that would be great!”

…

They were nearly an hour into their second movie when Virgil felt a familiar pain creeping up on his shoulder. _No, no, no! This could not be happening. Not now and not here!_ , Virgil thought to himself as he clenched his teeth against the pain, trying his best not to stiffen against Patton. It wasn’t as bad as earlier, but definitely no damn cat scratch. Much to his luck, the pain passed quickly.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t the end.

Merely twenty minutes later, the feeling of a jagged knife appeared on his cheek and Virgil knew he was done for. Without thinking twice, the anxious trait sunk himself out out and into his room. A cry escaped him as the pain made it’s was down past his jaw and into his neck.

Tears fall down Virgils cheeks as he pressed a hand into his sore one, trying to decrease the pain at least a little. He _hated_ these ones. The ones that left a thick, ugly, jagged scar and the pain never left. And _fuck_ it hurt _so much_. All thoughts went out as Virgil curled into a ball, whimpering and crying. He barely registered the sound of pounding at his door, his voice being called.

It wasn’t until firm hands grabbed Virgils and gently pulled them down that he even realized anyone was in the room. Virgils eyes flew open to see the tear blurred form of Logan sitting on his knees in front him. He could barely make out Logans lips moving as he talked, but Virgil heard nothing.

“Hurts…” He gasped, trying to pull his hands from Logans and a fatal attempt to regain the pressure in his cheek. A familiar rhythm was being tapped in his shoulder. A warm pressure on his cheek soon followed and Virgil did his best to focus on the beat on his arm.

It didn’t help.

The other three could only helplessly watch as the fourth sobbed and whimpered in pain for nearly another ten minutes. Patton held Virgil as he sobbed while Logan held the hot compress to his cheek and rubbed circles onto his hand. Roman could only stare, not knowing quite what to do to help his dark prince and slightly in shock at the horrendous mark that scarred his face.

Eventually the tears stopped and the breathing evened out. But Virgil refused to look up and face the others. He had failed and they found out. He would’ve liked to stay there, hidden in Pattons shirt, but a hand gently grabbed his jaw and forced him to face the others. Virgil blinked a few times, letting Logan examine his face, keeping his eyes downcast.

The scar stretched from just below his left cheek, down his jaw bone, and ended a little ways onto his neck. Virgil could bet it didn’t look too pretty either. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the first on his face. A skinny one had been carved under he right eye and curving up around it on his forehead. Smaller ones littered his forehead and cheeks, one even curving across the bridge of his nose.

“Virgil, what exactly happened if I may ask?” Logans voice was steady and calm as he spoke, but there was an undertone of something else. Fear, one may put it.

Virgil slowly looked up at him, “Thomas got hurt.” he muttered.

Logan looker confused and Roman came to sit next to the three, “Impossible! I’m the only one who bears Thomas’s physical marks. I think I’d know if a scar popped up.”

“It’s not like that.” Virgil said, his voice quiet, “Whenever Thomas read or hears something that hurts him, I get a scar. The severity if it depends on how hurtful the comment was.”

“I take it you can feel the pain of them too?”

Virgil started to say something, only to be cut off by a sharp gasp as a stung enveloped his arm. Patton rubbed his back for the few minutes it lasted and Logan gently took his arm when it was over and pulled the sleeve up. Three gaps could be heard as Virgils scarred arm was revealed and he flinched slightly.

“Kiddo…” Patton started, his voice soft, “why didn’t you tell us?”

“Nothin’ you could do.”

“You’ve….you’ve got more than me.” And all heads turned to Roman as he spoke, vulnerability clear in his voice. Virgil solemnly nodded and, with the help of Patton, pulled off his hoodie to expose the rest of his pale arms. His shirt soon followed, shame clear on his face. None of the others said a word as their eyes scanned over Virgils torso - and that scared Virgil more than anything.

_Freak_

_They hate you_

_Their going to figure out how much you failed Thomas_

_How much you failed your job_

_No one will ever love you now that they know_

“And you’ve been dealing with these all on your own?”

Romans question snapped Virgil out of his head. He paused for a moment before slowly nodding, “Ever since we were in first grade, yeah.”

“Oh, kiddo…”

Virgil jumped as he felt hands on his back, not realizing that Roman had moved behind him, “Sorry! I probably should have asked first.”

“No, its fine. Just…I’ve never actually been touched there before. My back usually stays hidden.”

For a while, the three sat that, tracing Virgils scars and talking. They weren’t mad, he realized. They weren’t mad at all.

A small smile graced Virgils face as loving hands traced over his flawed body.

_Strong_

_Brave_

_Hero_

Voices said, and Virgil melted into them.

 _Protector_.


End file.
